It’s that time when I sign off for the year… and boy what a year it’s been (literally!).
I can’t really describe my 2019. Depending on the day I’m extremely thankful for a few major things in our life. Other days, it feels like a heavy weight on my heart…
Conrad (yes, it only took me 6 months to share his name) came in June and has been everything we could have hoped for. He has our chill tempers (except when the tired or hungry monsters attack). He also has our stubborn demeanors and my inability to sit still! He has us on our toes pretty much nonstop!
It’s wonderful to be a mom and we absolutely love our little guy, but to ignore the hardships on becoming a new parent these first 6 months, would be wrong.
First it was accepting my low breastmilk supply. And then it was the continued hardship of exclusively pumping and accepting my low supply. Even six months in, I still get down about it. Unexpectedly someone says something or I’m in a scramble to make formula and I get down. The tears still happen and the internal monologue is still very loud.
The struggle of my self-employed maternity is still a constant battle for me. That initial bit of time was insubstantial. And now trying to return to work and find a babysitter (while justifying the expense) has me hemming and hawing all day long!
And then there was our move to Sacramento. We knew it was time to move a few years ago, but we had to wait a bit for everything to line up. I couldn’t be happier to be in Northern California. From the second we exited the freeway with the moving truck in late August, it felt like we were home and LA never even happened.
Buying our first home was a whirlwind experience and we couldn’t have asked for a more fortunate turn of events and blessings than we had. We absolutely love our home, though we still have a few corners that need organization and love (more to come)!
Being in a house that’s ours and in a community which I feel welcome, I’ve been able to act on my environmental concerns, show my love for others, and become a little more committed to a better world – one which has been difficult to see with the political decisions in our country and others. My words and actions may be small, but I do believe they’re making a difference.
Looking Forward to 2020
So many people are writing out their lists of resolutions and goals for 2020. And I’m trying to figure out where to start. As I begin to step away for a few weeks, I know the answers will come. Patience has never been a virtue of mine, however!
I can’t begin to thank those of you who’ve followed along, who reply to my random ramblings on Instagram, and who email. Every time I get down, there seems to be someone who reaches out to tell me that they enjoy Luci’s Morsels in one form or another. It’s easy to forget there’s a human on the other side of the internet, but I’m here and am touched with every kind word or note!
So with all of that, I wish you all a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year. I hope you each find moments of peace, love, and utter joy that you can hold on to for days, weeks, and months to come. And may 2020 be a phenomenal year for us all!!